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Empty. Really Empty.

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I started with a different title. A different topic that I wanted to write about. But, although that topic would have been a blessing to others, I would really be typing what I am struggling to accept today.  Faith in God is not about feelings, but I struggle with this. For the past few months, in the midst of a pandemic, I have been feeling empty. Really empty. I am angry. My anger frustrates me. My frustration drains me. I am feeling empty. I shared this with two girlfriends recently. Hoping to hear some form of encouragement. What I heard was the same response-they were feeling empty too.  I feel as if I have been poured out literally. I am so full of information; I know what the signs all foretell. I know my Saviour is coming soon. I know enough. But I am spiritually dry.  I am not throwing in the towel though. I have been a bit more open about how I am feeling, because when I can't pray, others can pray for me. I am also searching more into His words for a life changing- not i
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Lessons from My Garden

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 Originally posted August 16, 2020 on my Instagram account. My vegetable garden really struggled this year. Many of the seeds I had sown did not flourish. With Covid-19 on our heels, I was a bit hesitant to visit the garden centers for seedlings to add to my dying stock. I eventually went and got my callaloo and peppers. But alas, those struggled as well.                                                            I remember talking to a friend of mine and my dad and sharing my concern s. I suspected it was the soil. My dad helped me to expand the garden bed but we mixed some clay in with the  new soil. Clay was tight. It wasn't "breathable". I said I was going to pull them all up and start over. But both said, no let them go through the season. I took their advice. Look at this bounteous harvest. From this garden I have blessed a family, friends, neighbours and the food  bank.                                                                          Lessons learnt: 1. We d
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The Frying Pan

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 Originally written in my journal October 21, 2017 at 1:11 PM. On my ride home from work yesterday, I found myself reflecting on how Great God has been to me. I smiled at the ways he stepped in, in some of the most mundane things in my life. It was Friday, October 20, 2017. I left work an hour later, 5:00 PM. I had several errands to run but opted to leave them for Sunday since the sun would be setting in less than 2 hrs. I needed gas, so I pulled into the gas station and filled up my tank. My Friday evening routine. I decided any [car] cleaning would also need to wait. [There was a pull to go home].  I needed to get home, but nor before getting something to eat.  I stopped at Sunrise and ordered supper plus 2 dinners- for Sabbath and Sunday. I knew I didn't have time to cook before sunset, and I wasn't in the mood. Cooking for just me wasn't appealing.  I drove home. Parked, closed my blind, placed the safety locks on. I was going to lock away for the night. I walked in an
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Still In the Potter's Hand

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Yesterday while adjusting the settings in my gmail account, I came across the link to this blog in my signature line. I had forgotten about this place I had carved out to share my thoughts of being shaped by the Potter.  Truth is I haven't stopped writing, albeit not as much as I used to. I have tons of journals with poetry, thoughts, tidbits and I have several (many) other blogs. The common denominator is I have not been consistent on any. Coming across this blog, with my last entry being 9 years ago was timely. God makes no mistake. I needed this in the face reminder that the Potter is still working on me. Yesterday, I wanted to repay evil for the evil that was being meted out to me. I wanted to go to a far place and not answer my phone because I wanted him to feel what it feels like when he does that to me. I buckled over and prayed and cried because my heart wanted to do that, but the Holy Spirit said no my child, you are growing from that. Take this forward step.  So I am stil
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The Court Jester vs. The Worshiper

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As we were having high praise time at church today, the song leader paused to give a joke about a friend who refers to himself as the ' Court Jester .' The joke was laughed at, and may have ended for many but it had me pondering on a much deeper level.  Back in the days the King/Queen would have a jester, whose task was to come before him/her when beckoned. The Jester had to entertain the royals; and if he failed he could be punished in a variety of ways. This included being beheaded.  His role was thrust upon him by the royals and he was expected to perform accordingly whenever summoned to do so. If there was more than one jester at court, the royals could easily display their preference.  The jester always ran the risk of offending or boring the royals. Each of which could have dire consequences.  It had me thinking of us worshiping at church. We have all been called before the King of the Universe to enter into his courts to worship, praise and adore His Holy Name. That&
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Yet Will I Trust Him...

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Have you ever felt like you are having a "Job moment?"  I sat today listening to an audio Bible on the Book of Job and as the reading progressed I couldn't help but feel like I am having a "Job Moment."  For the past month and over I have been faced with some very trying times. The way the situation unfolds is so similar to Job's. As soon as I think I have heard or seen the worst, then comes another 'messenger' with even more disheartening news. And like Job I know there are those who are on the sideline persecuting me for the situation that I find myself in. I find though that through the hurt and the pain, there is a peace that has been hovering about me. It's a hard one to explain, no wonder the Word says He will give us peace that passeth all understanding. And as this peace infiltrates my being- I realise it is allowing me to trust Him more.  I don't know how all this will end. But I do know that once I give my pen to God and a
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The Potter's Gift

A few years ago I got an email from my best friend. It was about a little girl and her necklace. She had gotten the fake pearl necklace as a gift from a friend. She played with it daily and treasured it above all else. One day she misplaced her fake pearl necklace. She searched and searched but could not find it. One can only imagine how upset she was. Her father, like any loving dad, set out to ease his daughter's pain by buying her a new necklace, not just any fake necklace- but a real pearl necklace. It wasn't as flashy as the one she lost but it was real. The father presented his gift to his daughter as she laid in bed - but she was not impressed with the design- she pulled it from around her neck as the beads scattered on the floor. She had no idea it was real. How many times have we tried holding on to 'gifts' that are of no real value to us, so much that we often-times miss the true replacement God has placed in our lives? The Potter knows exactly how He desig
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